Noughties Highlights # 2: Funneling Friday, First Friday of February

I think one of the most ridiculously awesome things I was involved with at Mount Allison was the brainchild of four amazing residents of Bigelow House (Pete Aikman, Graeme Bezanson, Nick Fry, and myself) due to our status as poor first year students and the cheapest drunk available at the time, Colt 45. 8% alcohol, 1L available for $5, and a taste like tin only a cheap malt liquor can give, it was an iconic part of my first semester at university. The label read on its backside once you'd drank it down to that point "It works every time" and they were not far off the mark. Drink two of them and you were almost guaranteed a black out drunk for $10. I remember bringing up the possibility of chugging a whole Colt 45 at meal hall and I remember the debate it sparked that led to the first (yes, it became an annual thing) Funneling Friday, Friday Feb. 4th, 2000. How we took it from just trying to see if we could do it to trying to see if we could do it in front of a mass audience in Bigelow's first floor mens bathroom featuring gangster apparel and with a DMX prayer circle before we walked into the "arena" was appropriate considering the imaginative potential of the four of us. We all had theme music and drew straws for position. I remember Pete funneled his in two shots, Graeme gave it a good effort, Nick tore his stomach lining and puked up blood, and that left me to demonstrate chugging a colt 45 was possible in one shot. Thus the "One Shot Wonder" was born, although I did power puke after it was all backlogged in my stomach, can't quite describe the sensation adequately. It was awesomeness incorporated and cemented our imprint on a long binge drinking history within Bigelow House. Our second year in Bigelow was like one long build up to the First Friday in February for our frosh class as the legend of Funneling Friday was cast down upon them and their membership in the second annual event highly encouraged. Obviously, after tearing his stomach lining the first time round, Fry was not actively participating, but the rest of the original quartet gave it another go. Pete had made us uniforms shortly after the first show, so we were decked out in uniform and Fry's was hung on the wall behind us as a mark of respect. This time there were 10 of us and we had outgrown the bathroom on first floor so we hosted this spectacle in our common room in Bigelow's basement. Over 80 people attended the most ridiculous thing I've ever been a part of. Everything had continuity, gangster apparel, theme music to a prayer circle beforehand. I kick started the event by funneling in one shot and not power puking. Three others followed in the same vein interspersed with some horrific puking episodes by others- the crowd brayed for more like in the Coliseum. With everyone having their turn, in an act of infamy, I took the extra Colt 45 we had on hand and funneled my second in one shot before power puking like no other. I had become a celebrity. When I showed up at the MTA pub later on that evening it seems like word had spread and everyone gave me a heroes welcome. It was as if I had done something great, a feeling I will never forget. Finally, the third edition of Funneling Friday was hosted at the Funhouse on 43 Bridge St., my house I shared with fellow Bigelow alumni for my third year at MTA. I did not actively perform in this event (felt like I had nothing else to prove) nor did any others from the original foursome, but was master of ceremony (pouring all funnels) and led the prayer circle beforehand to ensure the greatness of the event was not lost on that freshman class. My house was packed to the rafters and the show was as good as ever. I was in awe of how big it had become, how a simple query of "Do you think you could funnel a Colt 45" could become a cult tradition of our residence a few years later. In my fourth year I know the show did go on but I think it had started to lose its luster a bit as none of the original participants were involved and I think the original creative energy behind its preparation was started to ebb. Do they still funnel Colt 45s on the first Friday of February in Bigelow House? I certainly hope so. Let your Roughriders roll!